Just Say No

Grumbling of discontent began to ripple across the Internet a few weeks ago when rumors began to spread about the possibility of Clana sex taking place during Smallville's fifth season. The word Clana, by the way, is one of those cutesy blend names like Bennifer, or TomKat. It means Clark and Lana as a couple, but don't ask a couple of what. Though it might be fair to ask why they're a couple at all. In four years they've never had a meaningful conversation so much as foreshadowing sound bites about the "hidden sides" of people, or Lana nagging Clark about keeping secrets and telling lies. Not to mention that for most of fourth season Lana hardly interacted with Clark at all except to snipe at him occasionally and falsely accuse him of getting her boyfriend fired. Yes, Lana had a new boyfriend. Well, considering how men flock to her, let's just call him the newest boyfriend. His name was Jason Teague.

A seemingly nice guy, who was later turned into a villain, Jason brought out a quality in Lana hitherto unseen -- desperation. When he broke up with her, she chased after him and was willing to have sex with him in hopes of winning him back. Villain or not, Jason declined her virgin sacrifice. Unfortunately for Jason and viewers alike, he decided to hook back up with Lana and their long pointless song and dance continued. Their story line was meant to be connected to the Kryptonian stones of power story line, which went nowhere fast. It was as if the writers forgot about it for most of the season and then rushed to the finish line with only a couple of episodes remaining.

Lana had an argument with Jason about secrets and lies and then rebounded back to Clark. Yes, in the same episode and yes, the same Clark who caused Lana to run away to Paris to get away from his secrets and lies in the first place. But since Clark promised that things would be different between them if they tried to have a relationship again, initially making that promise when he had amnesia, Lana was all for an instant rebound romance. Of course had Clark been mature and had he really cared about Lana's emotional well-being, he'd have told her that she needed time to get over her relationship with Jason before declaring her love for someone else. Then again, had Lana been mature, she'd have known that already. Unfortunately, since they're still teenagers, at least The WB's version of teenagers, neither of them saw a problem with a rebound romance.

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